Adventures in Kauai: Hiking the Kalalau Trail

If you know me, you know that I am not exactly the toughest, most in-shape, outdoorsiest of girls. Don't get me wrong - I love a good hike. There is nothing that heals my soul more than the view from the top of a mountain (except maybe raw cookie dough). It's preferable if there is no sign of humanity in my view, because as we've discussed, I don't like people. But there is a reason I haven't quit society to be a nomadic backpacker. Backpacks are heavy, I generally think toilets were a positive advancement, and eventually I like a good shower.

If you know my boyfriend, Devin, you know that he is strong and tough and in shape and outdoorsy in the former-Eagle-scout-current-Army-dude kind of way. He is absolutely fine with not showering for alarming lengths of time, seems to have no problem with a bathroom-free life, and he has plenty of practice carrying a giant, heavy rucksack for miles. (True story: one time Devin asked me to help carry his gear upstairs. He put his ruck on my back and I just tipped right over.)

So sometimes, Devin drags me on absurdly long hikes or backpacking trips and I acquiesce because I like to check them off my bucket list and because I know that at the top there will be a view that is worth it and because I'm too poor and lazy to buy a gym membership so I have to burn calories somehow.

For Christmas, his present to me was a trip to Kauai, which was absolutely on my bucket list and had legendary views and plenty of calorie-burning potential. So I was excited. But he wanted to hike Na Pali Coast, a beautiful stretch along Kauai's northwest coast. That meant hiking the entire Kalalau trail, which is 11 miles long and involves terrifying sea cliffs and no flat parts, just a constant up-and-down trail. Once you're out on the trail, the only way to reach civilization is hike back or to be picked up by an emergency helicopter. So I was also nervous. 

Not my photo. Source. This is an aerial view of the Na Pali Coast.

We spent 3 days in Kauai. We arrived Friday morning very early, rented a car, stopped to watch the sun rise over the ocean, and kept driving out toward the Kalalau trailhead. We stopped for breakfast and to stock up on some last minute snacks and repack our bags, and then we parked the car and were ready for our adventure!

Look how ready Devin is. Notice how he's carrying everything heavy. Also notice his sweet socks, a gift from our roommate's mother.

That first day, we hiked 6 miles to the halfway point, where we camped for the night. The first 2 miles are full of people (ugh) because it's just a day hike to Hanakapi'ai Beach. From there, you can hike another 2 miles to a waterfall, but we didn't do that because we had SO. MANY. miles to go. Anyway, about 0.25 miles in there's a nice lookout where we saw some whales (!), and then at 0.5 miles you get the first real glimpse down the coast. Little did I know, we were only seeing about half the trail (if that much). Either way, it's breathtaking.

Pictures will never, ever do it justice. I want to cry because you all can't see how beautiful it was.

Obligatory photo to prove we were really there and didn't just Google the photos.

 

This is a picture of me when I still believed in happiness and good things. Before the world's longest hike.

We stopped for lunch at the beach, which is apparently a very dangerous place to swim, so we didn't get in the water. Then we set off on mile 3, which is apparently the worst, steepest mile on the whole trail. And it was pretty rough indeed. But we survived. The miles started to feel a bit longer and my bag was feeling pretty heavy. (I only had water and my own clothes and toiletries but somehow that weighed a ton. I can only imagine how heavy Devin's bag was. I never attempted to lift it for fear of another tipping over incident.)

Look at this adventurous adventurer.

Around mile 4 or 5, it started to pour down rain. I love rain, honestly, and it was sort of nice because I was so sweaty, but it was also terrible because it makes everything heavier and my boots filled up with water and everything was incredibly slippery. I almost fell off the mountain twice. 

By the time we got to the camp at mile 6, it was dark and continuing to rain. It let up briefly while we ate dinner, but once we were in the tent it started raining again and continued to rain for the entire night. Everything was wet and muddy. On the bright side, I found a cat because I'm a huge cat lady and I can find cats miles from civilization. You could put me on the moon and I'd probably find a mooncat.

Also, Kauai has a lot of GIANT CENTIPEDES. One crawled across my boots. It was awful. Anyway, we camped for the night and then we sort of dilly-dallied in the morning. There was a waterfall about a half mile from camp, so we made a detour before continuing on the trail. It was worth it. There wasn't a single other human being there (yay!) and the waterfall was beautiful. Huge. I wanted to go swimming in the pool but we had to get going.

You can't see the top - that's about half the waterfall.

On that second day, we had to hike the scary part. There's this part of the hike called Crawler's Ledge, which is skinny, horrifying part of the trail that drops in a sheer cliff several hundred feet to the sea. The waves are giant and crashing and so, so beautiful, but if you look down you will want to vomit. I'm afraid of heights and generally not very brave, so I had to sit down and cry for a minute struggled. Fortunately, Devin held my hand and I made it, very slowly, along the cliff. 

I don't have any actual pictures of Crawler's Ledge because I was too busy clinging to the rocks for dear life, but this is the beautiful sight you are blessed with if you survive.

After Crawler's Ledge, there are few more scary parts, but none of them are quite that scary. When we got past it, we found a nice clear spot to eat lunch. My adrenaline level crashed at the point and I was strangely exhausted, so I needed a break. Unfortunately, there were another 4 miles to go. Ugh.

If you look closely you'll notice the beach, which is where the trail ends. You'll also notice that I'm smiling because I'm thinking about breaking my leg on purpose so a helicopter will come save me.

 The next four miles were populated by mountain goats (we saw a woman hiking along carrying a goat, but it was unclear whether it was a wild goat or a pet or even how long she had been carrying said goat or why...) and tough people like us (ha). The very last mile was incredibly muddy. We finally made it to the beach and I collapsed on the sand and cried. Okay, I didn't cry, but it was a relief. Unfortunately, the trail is so difficult that we only hiked about a mile an hour, so it was pretty late when we got there and we didn't have much time to set up camp before the sun went down.

Once we set up our tent, we walked along Kalalau Beach, which was beautiful. The waves were HUGE because it's winter. They made the most incredible crashing explosions of water and sound and of course on my camera they look tiny, but they were incredible.

It was so pretty!

 

I promise those waves were giant.

 After our beach walk, we went to the waterfall where people get water/shower. It was freezing but I have to say, it was pretty exhilarating to shower in a waterfall! I felt so at one with the Earth and all that.

Speaking of being at one with the Earth, there are people who LIVE out there. Full time. They smell like people who live in tents. I'm not sure how they manage - they must hike in and out regularly to pick up supplies. I couldn't stop thinking about how if the apocalypse started they wouldn't know about it, because there is absolutely zero cell phone service out there. Also sometimes people hike the Kalalau Trail naked. It's pretty... jarring, to say the least. Maybe I'm just awkward. Anyway. Yeah. If you hike Kalalau, be ready for that.

Our third day, we didn't have any more nights of camping permits and we had a flight early the next morning, so we had to hike the WHOLE 11 miles back in one go. I've never hiked 11 miles before. I've hiked 10 and that was rough. So I was really nervous. Devin carried almost all of my stuff, since his bag had room after we had eaten our food. The lighter bag made a HUGE difference. I don't think I'd had made it with the extra weight. As it was, the day was a struggle.

Early morning goodbye to the beach.

 We started out around 8:30 (which was actually pretty late). The first few miles were good. Crawler's Ledge was less scary the first time and things had dried out considerably. We were making decent time. We stopped for lunch at the 6 mile campsite, and I was reunited with my new pet cat :)

For a girl without a cat of her own, I have a shocking number of selfies with cats on my phone. What does that say about me? Only good things.

From there, the next 2 miles or so were okay. Manageable. We played the celebrity alphabet game to pass the time. Then we hit a section that was just up and up and up and up. It seemed like we would never reach the top. We kept saying we'd rest when we got to the top and we just never got there. I felt like we had climbed up at least half of Mt. Everest.

After that mile, we had two miles of downhill to the beach, which was depressing because I knew we'd have to go back up after. We stopped to rest at the beach and then set out on the last 2 miles.

The last two miles were awful. I told Devin, "Okay. I'm not having fun anymore. I want to be done." My whole body hurt, and my legs were so tired, but even worse my feet were covered in blisters! At one point I slipped and fell and I just sat there on a rock and said "I can't do this! I give up!" A very nice man passing by offered to carry my bag (sometimes people aren't that bad) because he could clearly see that I was a pathetic mess. I turned him down and trudged on.

When we finally reached the trailhead, I almost cried happy tears. We took a selfie where we almost look happy, but if you look closely you can see that we're dead inside.

DEAD INSIDE.

That night at the hotel, I took the single greatest shower of my entire life. I put on clean, dry clothes. I ate hot food. I slept in a real bed. It was the best.

All joking aside, it was an incredible hike and an unforgettable experience. The photos don't do it justice in the slightest. If you can, you should go see it for yourself. I've never felt more amazed by the scenery around me. I almost wanted to be a trail hippie and stay there forever. Almost. 

It was HARD and it was sometimes scary but it was so, so worth it. And of course, shoutout to Devin for being my pack mule, my steady hand, my cheerleader, and my tent setter-upper. 

The moral of the story here is that you should all go book a flight to Kauai and strap on your hiking boots. If I can do it, you can do it.